A Nautical Truth

(Water Is Magnetic)

This is for all those of an ocean-going mind who, for no apparent reason, are compelled down to the seas again.

Throughout history, water, in all its forms, has held an attraction to humanity. Whether it be wading 'neath a waterfall, paddling in the pool, walking by the weir, crossing a canal, riparian tendencies, such as running alongside the river, fouling the fountain (with coins), basking on the beach, swimming in the ocean blue, singing in the rain, sailing the seven seas to the four corners of the earth or simply jumping in the lake!

However, the following narrative details my recent findings, H2O not only pulls at the heart-strings of those enlightened souls endowed with a somewhat more spiritual outlook, it also bears an incredibly strong attraction to solid objects of a more material nature.

Long ago, over the oceans and far away, I was informed the waxing and waning of that celestial silver orb, the moon, exerted a gravitational pull that is responsible for the flooding and ebbing of the tides.

Au contraire, I now have hard evidence to prove that it is in fact quite the reverse... it is water that is magnetic and has its way with the moon.

My sailing vessel, for no fault of mine, was five months on the hard, high and dry in the boatyard, due to a four-year-old 40 horse power Volvo Penta inboard engine with a penchant for ingesting copious quantities of water and, as a result, needed rebuilding before its time.

And, yes, of course the warranty had long since expired.

In all that time on the hard, surrounded by nothing but very dry land, no matter what I brought on deck, be it a winch handle, sunglasses, parts, pieces, any and all tools, a gidget, a gadget, a widget or whatever you care to name, nary a one fell overboard. Not one, none, nothing, nada, nichts, zip, zilch, zero!

I, on the other hand, body of water that I am, fell off the ladder, needed to gain access on board, on numerous occasions... and, why?

It's quite obvious... consisting of 60% H2O, not only did I need to find my own level which, in this case, was a good way below and beyond the boatyard, but of course, the magnetic field effect had kicked in.

This not only reinforced but confirmed my suspicion as to why it is known as, 'the hard'.

Eventually, when good, the moment my sailboat was launched, any and all gear or items on deck not physically attached, be it by line, chain, epoxy, screws or bolts, were instantly attracted by, and to, the water and immediately leapt lemming-like over the side, completely avoiding all contact with the cabin, mast, boom, bulwarks, coamings, stanchions, lifelines, toe, cap or grab-rail, and sank to a murky and watery grave, never to be seen again.

One would think, if what goes up must come down is a universal truth, then its opposite, what goes down must come up should also hold true. Unfortunately, such is not the case, especially when it comes to the marine environment, the tragic Titanic for instance.

As any seafaring soul who has undoubtedly witnessed the magnetic water phenomenon may attest, it has been the norm ever since mankind crawled out of the proverbial primordial, and is consistent with my theory... water is magnetic.

If you need proof or validation, go to sea with your mobile phone or car keys stowed safely and securely in your pocket... I dare you!

This is no untried or untested theory and is true of any system of water, including the shower.

You may choose to believe you dropped the soap, but you didn't.

In actuality, it was the water going down the drain, clockwise or counter, depending on its positive or negative polarity, following its natural instinct and the soap succumbed to the draw of its potent and overpowering magnetic force.

Oh, still you doubt me, then look no further than the North Pole, a prodigious amount of... what?

Frozen, yes, you guessed it, water... and, as all good sailors know, you may trust your compass to point you in the direction of that icy place as it is most definitely and indisputably magnetic.

This evidence establishes, once and for all, never mind what they say about the moon — full, blue, gibbous or otherwise... water is magnetic!

'A Nautical Truth' by Andrew John & Martin H. Samuel

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